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The Boss-o-Matic 9000

What? Why?

The thing about ork warbosses in 40K crusade is this: they become unstoppable beasts. This is highly entertaining, of course, but they do have a way of making every game about themselves. Consequently, as the boss' Waaagh grows, I find myself using my other warboss models to represent his leff-tenunts. I could just say "here's a random boss," but it's way more fun to have a name and a personality. And so, one thing led to another and... well... ladies and gentlemen, for your consideration I present: the Boss-o-Matic 9000.

This extremely stupid series of random tables incorporate an ork name generator, a squig name generator, a gretchin name generator, and then goes waaaay further than necessary by generating a personality for your boss, including his quirks and hobbies.

Today, my brain worms iz green.

I've already had a fair bit of fun using this to generate a couple of leftenunts for my fellow Bunker dwellers to fight; generally if my opponent can take a boss out of play, then I have that player roll a dice. On a 4+, they've killed the boss, and I generate another. I'm generally just using an old copy of the Black Reach warboss for my generiboss, but it might be fun to use this as an excuse to paint up the newer warboss kit, since it it's really rather pretty.

If a boss survives his first battle, I start tracking his XP and taking out of action tests for him like normal. If he survives his next game, then you need a 5+ to kill him after taking him out. If he levels up to Battle Hardened or beyond, then you can only kill him on a 6+.

Hopefully in this way people will get the satisfaction of taking on repeat end-level bosses but actually killing them, and/or howling in frustration as they escape certain death.

Either's good.


  1. Dear Charlie,

    What the hell!? How can you find the time? And the know-how?
    Ok, that´s official - you just didn´t top BOTH ye olde 1d4chan tables AND KillTeam generators, you improved on them. By a LARGE margin.

    Seriously. This is "Powered by the Apocalypse" or "Blades in the Dark" pen-and-paper RPG level execution on random tables, and the finish is absurdly pretty.

    I am just puzzled. Flabbergasted. Amazed. At a loss of words.
    New absolute favourite, must paint that olde zenithal-primed Ork "Goliath" stand-in KillTeam, then give them names and stories based on your tables. Could take months, still should be done. Or I do it for my already-painted Death Guard KillTeam - their difference with the Ork lifestyle (minus min-maxed biowarfare) is mostly academic, if you think about it.

    Carry on, you absolute madlad. Godspeed and best luck for you.

    1. Ha! Steady on, I think it's fair to say PbtA et al will have spent more time testing and refining their random tables than I did XD

      FYI, due to recent spam attacks, we're having to turn off anonymous commenting on the Beard Bunker - sorry for any inconvenience!

  2. You sexy Legend. I'm running an Ork Killteam in Shadow War right now. This is going to very useful indeed. What I find is that while you get 2 specialists and a leader, they just aren't enough personality to go around in a team that potentially has 20 models. It quickly feels like you are pushing a mob of generic boys around like 40k.

    I've got a stealth boy and a 1st mate, but this will let me flesh everyone out who doesn't already have a little backstory.

    The depth of this is fantastic and really appreciated.

    1. See here's what I love about making stuff like this - it may have been conceived as a warboss generator, but that doesn't other people won't find other uses for it! Thanks mate, have fun with it :)


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