The Beard Bunker

Mantearer (also spelt Manteara) were playing brutal rokk long before Sirrus Bizniz ever popularised the genre on Boff's Rok , slamming away at their instruments in bars full of orks too keen on getting drunk to realise they were in the presence of greatness. Lead gittarist 'Toofbag' Torgrum eventually took the initiative and took to smashing his gittar over the heads of anyone who wasn't listening during their sets. This kind of violence was met with a mixed response, ranging from 'vaguely amused' to 'extremely keen,' and led to Mantearer gaining a reputation for the most brutal mosh pits in da Scene. Toofbag's propensity to start fights with everyone meant that the band soon had to invest in armour just to get through the opening songs, which in turn resulted in ever larger objects being thrown at them. Mantearer soon found themselves in a harms race, which they ultimately won when Sirrus Bizniz helped them surge in popularity to the extent that th...

No one, not even the boss himself, can remember what his original name was. He'd move from campfire to campfire, telling the lads to "pay attenshun" to Da Plan for the next raid. He'd tell them it was "sirrus bizniz." So after a while, that's what they called him. "Here comes Sirrus Bizniz," they'd chorus. The lads didn't know what was wrong with drinking and rokking out the night before, and then winging it on the day. Of course, they conceded, that was probably why he was the boss. But who is Mr Bizniz, and where does he come from? The artist latterly known as Sirrus Bizniz hails from  Boff's Rok . A populous and comparatively advanced ork world, all sorts of subkultures await listless yoofs. Among them: Goff rokk. As soon as young Sirrus heard the wailing of atonal guitars and the pounding of the drums he was filled with a sense of awe. He got obsessed, spending all his time in drunken mosh pits and immersing himself in the subku...

We’re not dead! Two and a half years of weekly posting followed by almost two months of total silence... it probably seemed a bit out of sorts. And, perhaps, that’s because things were out of sorts (we all have our moments). But don't worry, this post isn’t about deep emotional stuff, it’s about orcs, and paint, and, and... spaceships. Yeah that’s right. Spaceships. Some of you will never have heard of Battlefleet Gothic , whereas some of you will, quite rightly, know it as Games Workshop’s Most Awesome Game . There may be people with other opinions, but they’re wrong. It’s been years since I played BFG properly, mainly because there ain’t that many folks who realise that it’s the best game ever, and moreover it’s bloody hard to buy something that’s been out of print for ten years. That eBay still features over 160 listings for the game in the UK, though, speaks to its longevity. Anyway my housemate Jon and I have been checking it out. Overcome with enthusiasm,...

Good evening and welcome to my inaugural post on the Beard Bunker and my very first unaccompanied foray into the blogosphere! Unlike Charlie, (a self-confessed hobby butterfly, whose Dark Eldar stand around all day, wandering what will happen first: will their souls be devoured by Slaanesh or will they get an undercoat) I am a hobby monomaniac. I am happy to indulge in all sorts of long term, ambitious and lengthy projects, on the strict proviso that the project concerns Orks. Hence, the sort of thing that I will usually be working on will look something like this: So when the Warhammer challenge came along, I viewed it with some trepidation – it wouldn’t involve Orks, Tanks, or Orks driving Tanks. Hmmm. However, I did have a box of Skaven from Island of Blood hanging around, and I was reasonably excited about them. Whilst the Skaven   weren’t Orks, they had the benefit of erratic contraptions, good looking miniatures, a horde army and a reckless disregard for ...