The Beard Bunker

Oi yoos gitz, shuddap an listen ta me. I iz gett'n some of da luckiest boyz togevva to go a krumpin. We iz gunna krump yoos and yoos. So yoos betta br'n yur best shootas cuz we'z got da ladz and da trukk an 'der r loads mor boyz on da wayz Dis iz Mogg an his boyz. Day gots all da dakka. Mogg's dun nicked a dead wikkid shoota wiv all da extra boomy bitz.   Dey dunna hav ta walk like no dirty snakebite. Day got Sennork an his trukk. Itz not red but it always getz in to da fightin cuz nuffink eva itz it. It'z got sum dead snazzy wheels. Don't no one noes where he gotz it from. Itz got loadsa room on da back for da boyz, but they'd betta hangs on. Ritghz hoomie, press da big red go button on me wordz.

Wotcha! I ’ m Grinbad Oilsmirk and I ’ ll be your trukk salesman for the day. Honest trukks at honest prices! You won ’ t find better in Mektown. You definitely won ’ t find better down the road at Bozdakka ’ s Big Wheelz. Bloody thieves in there. You can tell because all their trukks is blue. The trukks in here? Top notch. They was made with a need. You know what need I mean, don ’ t you? Course you do. Now you seem like an ork with teef. Probably got a mob of lads following you around, am I right? Need to get them into a good scrap without losing half of them on the way? Don ’ t worry mate, I ’ ll sort you out. Take a walk with me through the garage. Smell the passion. And don ’ t tread in what ’ s left of Pizzle, we ran over him this morning. ERGLI? ERGLI! WHY ’ S YOU NOT MOPPED UP PIZZLE? BEEN SNIFFING GLUE SQUIGS HAVE WE? SO HELP ME IF I DON ’ T SHOW YOU THE BACK OF MY HAND. Bloody told him. Sorry about that mate, right this way. The Klassic   First up we hav...