The Beard Bunker

"So, you wanna know about dat Boss do you, runts? Well, grab me a grog, shuddap, and listen.  Uluruk Nurdkrumpa iz kunnin' but brutal. Da Boss 'az always kept 'iz eyez and earz open. Boss don't talk much but 'ez always watching for the right moment to krump anyone who getz in 'iz way of being da Boss. Make 'im boring at da squig roasts, not one for jokes or anyfink like dat, but 'ez keeps da boyz in line and finds some good scraps. So 'ez alright by me.  Da Boss knows which of da boyz dat he can trust. Beh Moff is da most trustworthy of 'iz Nobz. Mostly because Beh Moff ain't got much going on in dat hed of 'iz. A long as 'ez gots grog and lotz of good fights 'ez an 'appy boy. Beh Moff iz pretty good at doing wot da boss tells 'im and dat is mostly to go smash stuff. Beh Moff don't care wot it iz, just as long as it krumps good. Oh, and don't mess wiv 'da Boss' squig, Gobbit. Boss loves dat squig. No i...

The Crooked Hand Waaagh! This week: the blue boyz on the left. Image credit: Boris Altemeyer This is the third and final installment of the late great Mr Sarton's orks, and this time, we're zooming in on the dodgy geezers of the army: the Deathskulls. If it's not nailed down, they'll nick it. If it is nailed down, they'll use a crowbar. As with the Bad Moons of part one , or the Blood Axes of part two , you can expect extensive conversions and even more extensive weathering powder. The reason I've left the Deathskulls until last is because, while you're not going to see a masterclass in painting or sculpting, this force is  a masterclass in theming your force. Perhaps more importantly, we're finishing here because the Deathskulls include Bunkah's Wrekkin' Krew, a unit that I think completely sums up Mark's approach to the hobby, and therefore forms a natural conclusion to this whole thing. It's not his best paint job, and it's...

The Crooked Hand Waaagh! This week: the niche stuff on the far right. Image credit:  Boris Altemeyer .

What's the total power level? Let us know in the comments to win an imaginary grot. Photo credit: Boris Altemeyer Today's post is something special. It's the first of a three-part blog showcasing Mark's preposterous ork army: the Crooked Hand Waaaagh! In case you haven't read Mark's posthumous post , or our thoughts on his loss, Mark was a member of our gaming group who was taken from us and his young family by cancer at the age of 37. He died in October, so the fact that this post is only just coming out now should say something about the logistical and technical challenges we faced, but hopefully we've done it justice.

Is your gang tired of a constant stream of slaying, pillaging and loot carrying? Do you need a giant robot with an en-trained Xenos insect brain to do your heavy lifting and face smashing but you’re too short of time in your hectic gang warfare life? Then you need, THE 6 HOUR AMBOT! Beautifully Painted. Might have taken a while to do though... When Games Workshop first showed the Ambot model off, I knew that I needed one in my life. I also knew that I didn’t want to use their relatively ‘factory fresh’ paint scheme because A) I’m lazy and B) I wanted mine to look battered and heavily used – like the piece of tunneling equipment it is. I wanted to get it painted quickly – preferably between the time I dropped my Son off at school and the time that my wife picked him up. The challenge was on – paint an Ambot in 6 hours. I did cheat a bit, the model was already assembled and primed black when I started and I did the basing after bedtime. In terms of a...

A history of high speed passes over five Big Mek's Workshops and one Warboss's Squig I felt the need, the need for speed. And endless cliched Top Gun quotes, so I put a couple of Ork planes together and here they are. Is your ego riting cheques wot your Dakka can't cash? Then you need a Dakkajet.  The Dakkajet received a bit of conversion work to it. - I swapped the position of the vent hatch and the cockpit to give the jet a 'longer bonnet' so that it looks faster. - I dislike the stock landing gear, and wanted to make at least one of the planes usable as a static model / scenery. With that in mind, I created a set of landing gear from the landing skids and a set of cheap 1/35 resin Stuka wheels off Ebay. These pin into little holes in the side of the fuselage and allow the plane to sit on the ground and look a bit like a proper plane that could e.g. land without exploding. Fortunately, the holes aren't particularly obvious when the pla...