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The Tale of Sweary Bozz

Sweary Bozz did a lot with tone of voice; it helped compensate for the limited vocabulary. It wasn't that he didn't understand other ork words, it's just that he found he could express himself perfectly well by saying 'zog' and just sprinkling the feelings on top. He could, for added flavour, add the word 'off' on the end. For anything else, there was 'bog' and occasionally 'git.' 'Bozz, did you know Metal Orker is playing tonight?' one of his mates would say. 'Zog off!' Bozz would answer, a surprised grin spreading across his face. 'Can you get us tickets? I know you and Sirrus Bizniz go way back.' 'Zog off,' Bozz spat, realising he was being used, and discouraging said cynicism with a crisp headbutt. Lacking Sirrus' aptitude for articulating what was just so very metal about this band or that band, Bozz never had much influence of his own, but Sirrus recognised a fellow superfan. Bozz went to just as man

The Year of the Cog: Part Seven - Legio Cybernetica

 Today is all about the robots. Big freaking, retro, robots. The kind that gave 1950s America nightmares. That's right, I've finally finished the Kastelans and their Cybernetica Datasmith. These models are so cool. I really love the 50s retro-vision-of the-future stylings. I know it's not to everyone's taste but I really dig it. These models I found really easy to get to the 'clean' painting stage. Spray with Wraith bone. Pick out the metal bits. Agrax Earthshade recess wash. Add some blue bits. Done.   Then along comes the weathering. There was many many hours sat chipping away at the chipping. I lost track of the number of Discord hobby chats where all I could say was "Chippy Chippy Chip Chip." However, despite the sheer amount of effort it was totally worth it. Once the chipping was done then comes the grime wash with Vallejo's Fuel Stains. The Kastelans can take any combination of Grabby Hands, Shooty Hands, and Flamey or Shooty shoulder weapon

Tabletop World Townhouse

It's been five years since I invested in some tiny resin real estate from Tabletop World (the guard tower , thanks for remembering). Their kits remain a joy to paint. So long as one is familiar with a drybrush, one is in for an easy ride. Today's post is really just a few photos of the finished thing, with a few tips on the most interesting elements of the painting. Using a brown primer The one change I made to the usual "prime black and start drybrushing" method was to prime with TT Combat's Laser Cut Brown spray. Arguably it's too rich and red a brown to serve as a universal undercoat, and one can tone it down by slapping a quick bodge-brushed layer of Vallejo's burnt umber over the top, but overall that brown tone really added some warmth to the stone. I'll definitely repeat this with the next building but it's a bit intense on the wood, so next time I'll hit all the wood areas with the burnt umber before proceeding to the drybrushing. Paint

The Year of the Cog: Part Six - Send in the Next Wave

 As any good Imperial adjacent commander knows, you always need to have the next wave of troops ready to exploit a gap in the enemy's line, reinforce your ownline, or simply hurl at the enemy. As soon as I had finished my initial 1000 pts list I got to work on the next units.    First I decided to treat myself to a character model. I think it's important to alternate between doing characters, vehicles, and troops. It breaks up what could end up feeling like an endless slog. Variety is the spice of life etc. I knew I needed to get a Skitarii Marshall as a second cheap but effective character, one can't always send out the busy and important Tech-Priests to do every little task. I decided to name this guy JCM 800 2203. Those who know will know why. Speaking of alternating. I dd a squad of Skitarii Rangers, because they are nice and outdoorsy. The (Imperial) eagle eye'd amoungst you will notice that those are not standard pattern Skitarii armour and coats. Correct! Wargame

Blood and Applause

  One of my favourite things about the Drukhari are the various different flavours contained within. The army structure is even tailored to encourage you to take maximum advantage of the three flavours with multiple small detachments encouraged (kinda like stabby neopolitan ice cream). The flavour we are exploring today is the Wych Cults of Comorragh, part mercenary, part performance gladiator acrobat, all stab happy nutcase.  My particular sub-flavour of Wych cult is a classic, the Cult of Strife. I tend to default to the sub-faction that feels most like the quintessence of that army unless I've got a strong reason to do otherwise (like wanting All The Raiders so going with Flayed Skull for the Kabbalites is the smart move). I'd also decided that I would change the colours of the army between the three flavours (Kabal, Wych Cult, Haemonculus cult) because it'll make it real easy to remember which one uses which rules: "Oh, a red one, that's Wyches". I knew

Back in Hochland

 By Taal, it's like slipping on an old boot. I haven't painted an Empire mini in just over three years, and it was an absolute pleasure. I'm still painting orks for my own 40K army, of course, but I just started running a Fantasy roleplaying wargame campaign for Jon and Drew. Jon's not into painting, so he picked a mini - the old Forgeworld unit champion for the Nuln Ironsides - and I painted him, under strict instructions that said champion should be ginger AF. Where the BFG campaign I ran for him was like Hornblower in space, this is Sharpe in fantasy. Except that Sergeant Albrecht lacks Dick Sharpe's charm, and is in fact a sot. Will he clean up is act? Or drunkenly fail upward? Or die ignominiously? The future knows. Along for the ride is Drew's wizard, just two weeks past her graduation from the Bright College and full of all the optimism of youth. In their first scrape, a policing action against a gaggle of goblins, she triggered the ambush too early, and

Here come the fangrots

Sirrus Bizniz believes rok is for everyone, even grots, particularly if they're going to spend teef on rok merch. After all, that touring fleet isn't going to build itself. 40K crusade demands that I track individual units, but honestly I just see the grots as one amorphous pool of fangrots. Mr Bizniz mostly sees it the same way, but occasionally one grot or another might catch his attention for doing something uncommonly metil. Where most runts flee at the first sign of a loud noise, grots of kultur are instead drawn by the sound of rok. They become highly animated, headbanging and scampering about underfoot, although most avoid the orks' mosh pits. Some orks make fangrots feel unwelcome, claiming rok is proper musik for proper orks, whereas others are either indifferent or oddly charmed by the wee screeching loons. Either way, one thing is certain: having a small army of fangrots scrounging teef to buy rok merch has only swelled Mr Bizniz' coffers, and provided an a

Killa Kans: Grötley Crüe

The clanking three-piece outfit Grötley Crüe got their start in Runt Hill. It's just out past Skid Row, where the speed freaks test their dragstas. There at the periphery of Mek City, on a dusty hill too rubbish for proper orks to bother living on, the grots roam free. It's undoubtedly the least impressive neighbourhood on Boff's Rok , and yet it's the hometown of a truly unusual little grot. Nikkit Stixx was originally an oiler working for Krom Bignooz, but after one too many unfair slappings he scampered off for the hungry freedom of the outskirts. Somehow surviving the journey out of Mek Town, he took to salvaging parts from the wrecked dragstas littering Skid Row. He could never quite replicate Krom's ability to create actual working machines; nothing ever seemed to come together right. Frustrated, he took to drowning his disappointment with shroomgrog. He was soon hopelessly hooked, and didn't care. His little workshop fell into disrepair. One night, blaste