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Krom Bignooz & Squigglzworth

Years ago, on the ork world of Boff's Rok, a po-faced mek named Krom came straight out of Bonkton with nothing but the wrench in his hand. He started out spannering for the Drop City Burnas, then managed to land a spot on Rezzgit Wurrlybitz' Formula Waaagh team out in Skid Row. It was here that Krom gained his first slice of notoriety: in his third year, he made a shokkjump drive and fitted it to the team's dragsta. This resulted in quite a lot of fighting when no-one could agree on whether tellyporting was cheating (most people came down on the side corresponding with the bets they'd placed). Sensing he'd just painted a target on his back, Krom snuck out and made for Mek Town, hoping to disappear into the crowds.

He resurfaced a few years later, having 'inherited' Gurdur's Garridge following an 'unfortunate' tellyporta accident in which the top half of Gurdur 'went to find Gork and Mork.' Over the next few months, Krom built a reputation as a Mek with a knack for fixing anything, no matter how complex. As time went by, he just couldn't keep up with the jobs, and took on more and more spannerz to assist him. His name got around. Warbosses came looking for snazzguns, forcefields, and mega armour. People started bragging about having acquired a Krom Speshul, even if it wasn't true. Krom was big news.

The news of a humourless mek with a penchant for tellyporta tek did not go unnoticed in Skid Row. The tellyporta debate had never died down, and had devolved into a constant war between the 'Portas and the Purists, leaving no time for actual races. One day, as Krom was shutting his workshop for the night, a couple of disgruntled Formula Waaagh fans made a drive-by attempt on Krom's life. Krom took a spinny blade to the face, and fell backwards into his workshop. With his remaining eye he sought out his prototype tellyporta blasta and spoinked the fans' engine out of existence. According to legend, it's the one time he ever laughed. 'Da sweet irony,' he said, stomping over to the crash site and beating the crash survivors to death with his now overheated blasta. Even as their blood soaked into the dusty street, Krom considered refining the design. More blastas, lower power settings, less burnout. Still killy, more dependable.

Keen to survive future assassination attempts, Krom built himself a suit of mega armour and took to more or less living in it. He found it extra useful in his work, enabling him to lift heavier loads. Soon he had all sorts of kustom tools on quick release clamps, enabling him to mount all sorts of know-wots on his gauntlets.

Years later, Krom was Mek Town's biggest Mek. Bitter rivals would sarcastically refer to him as Bignooz, pointing out their work was usually just as good. But Krom's name now carried weight, and with this weight, came teef.

Lots of teef.

Never one to wallow in materialism, Krom began to think about how he might use this wealth, and slowly, a vision formed: industyree... indoostrial.... the spelling wasn't important, it was the idea that mattered: factories. Whole factories, stamping out shootas, trukks, kans... the materiel of Waaagh. There was just one problem: the orks of Boff's Rok would sometimes go out pirating, but there'd never been a Boss capable of holding a proper Waaagh together.

And then came Sirrus Bizniz.

Krom didn't care one jot about rokk musik or kultur, but he saw the devotion Sirrus inspired in his followers. Krom's scarred frown deepend, which to anyone who knew him, meant 'thinky and excited.' He waited to see how Sirrus' initial forays into humie space went, and when Sirrus came back loaded down with plunder, Krom was fully sold, and came to the boss with a vision: fleets, planes, wagons, koptas, guns and choppas. Build everything, all at once. Be organised. Don't launch piecemeal. Get it all ready, and use it all together. Krom called this 'Kombined Harms.'

It was the doctrine that would signal the shift from ladz on tour to ladz on the path to Waaagh. And there, always, would be Krom Bignooz, harms dealer, raking in the teef and spending them on more factories, more ship foundries, more forges. An ever-growing Waaagh to spread across the galaxy. Also some nonsense about rokk musik, Bignooz conceded reluctantly.

+ + +

But wait, what about Squigglzworth?
Bignooz isn't a people orkle? person, and doesn't have time to remember individual runts. He doesn't even realise Doc Feelgood is a one-time runt of his, and is entirely unaware of the Doc's smouldering hatred. Point being: if a grot's an oiler, they're worth about as much as the oil squig, maybe less. Hence: Squigglzworth.

For grots, working for Krom Bignooz is a risky move. Getting an educational slap from a mega armoured gauntlet is often fatal, but if they can survive long enough studying at the feet of Boff Rok's greatest living mek, and then escape to a less famous mek, that mek will treat them like a precious resource. They might get semi-proper food, maybe even protection. Luxury.

Notes on the painting & konversion
There's not much to say here as the paint job remains a reasonably fast one done using the same methods outlined in the Sophomore Goffs post. I debated for some time whether to use blue on the tellyport blasta, since it's not a colour that appears elsewhere in the army, but it does help Krom stand out.

I have to say the meganobz kit really grew on me as I built it. The big mek's tellyport blaster in particular is an insane number of components thanks to all those cylinders and cables, but I think it's worth it. It's just so 3D in the flesh, in a way that doesn't really come across in photos.

I only did a little conversion work here. If you leave the iron gobz off the mega armour it has the weird effect of making the model look slightly bigger, thanks to the proportions looking less chibi. This can, however, emphasise the percentage of the front of the model that's an unarmoured face. To make the neck/chest look slightly  more protected I added extra armour behind his chin, and sculpted welding lines on the lower join. It's a subtle difference that you don't really notice unless it's not there.

What's Next?
I'm butterflying between about five different projects right now, but for the orks it'll probably be 5 meganobz. They're already built, they just need paint. Unlike Krom, they're mostly wearing helmets, in an attempt to further differentiate mek and warrior.


  1. Ok, "Kombined Harms" lamed me for a while, genuine laugh out loud

  2. Dear Charlie,

    Thank you, Krom is a delightful portrait! He reminds me about how "special characters" in 40K were oft written to both exemplify the values of their faction AND radically oppose them.
    In this case, Krom is quite Orky (ambition, conflict and eventually overtaking your superiors through their demise) - yet is a thoughtful introvert, and quite the obsessive planner, qualities you don´t see associated with Orks oft enough.

    It is a common theme for Orks to be underestimated by their enemies, ruining more than a military campaign, and the presence of people like Krom in their ranks is a good, sensible explanation.
    Admiral´s Spire quote "to underestimate the greenskins is a fast path to the grave" fits this situation like a glove.

    And all social checks and balances taken into account....I would still be concerned by that Tellyporta, which has got an ominous "Chekhov´s gun" heft to its description. Currently, Krom´s second shortest path to power goes through Serious Biznizz chest....

    Okay, let´s get this out of the way - the lore-to-painting concordance is PERFECT, it might be the best you have ever managed (yes,even taking the Cobalt´s Scions into account, the economy of painting scheme-to-resulting character is off the charts).

    The model´s face perfectly conveys its mood, the understated, functional colour scheme fits the "no-frills" mentality the character displays, and the tellyporta´s blue glow effect is, simply, chef´s kiss.

    Seriously. It has managed to convey this "glowing, sparkling electric device, frozen in time" in a fashion that seems within he grasp of the common painter. Wish I knew at least the cliff notes on replicating that one, it might be one of my favourite items on this blog.

    1. see this is why I make the model first, then think about what their personality might be - so that's why it matches XD

      The blue is a basecoat of corax white, then a coat of Army Painter Crystal Blue, then layering up with stippling to pure white, then a glaze of the original blue to soften the effect.

      Krom isn't specifically a metal archetype, because Krom is one of the rare orks in the army who isn't into rokk at all - I didn't even consider which archetype he'd fit into, because he wouldn't think about that either :P

  3. Also, nice to see the birth of "Kombined Harms" within the tour XDDDDD

    PS: Which "metalhead" archetype does Krom represent? So far all units represented an stereotype...or would his uniqueness extend also to that area
    Just curious.

  4. Also, "Harms dealer" XDDD

  5. Thanks for the Tellyporta glow explanation! Definitively going to try out this one in the first model that suits the bill.


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