The Beard Bunker

Nothing says 'victory' like subliminally stripy trousers. Not having a wizard in a Warhammer army is a lot like going commando. You can do it, but it just doesn’t feel quite right. That said, I didn’t want another robed man shuffling about at the back of my battle line. Historical precedent justifies the sausage fest that is the state soldiery, but by Jove, there’s no such precedent for wizards! Here was a good opportunity to get a lady in the army. The only problem was the lack of a suitable model in the Empire and Brettonian ranges. I’d have to make one, and whilst I have built a model entirely from wire and green stuff in the past, I still find the prospect a little daunting, so when the plastic Dark Elf Sorceress was released, I didn’t see an angry pixie. I saw an armature. Here she is, Blu-tacked together. I make no claim to being a Mighty Putty Master of Mightyness, so the advice in this post is largely directed at the first-time and intermediate ...

It seems strange to start putting this story out now, given how long ago Mark and I began (and resolved) this little plot arc, but it is the first in a series of story-based posts that will, hopefully, catch the blog back up to where we're at in the Bunker's Hochland campaign. Demonstrating a frankly fundamentalist approach to reader feedback, this post only exists because one anonymous reader asked what happened to Amelia, and what happened at the Siege of Fort Schippel. Well, that's a lot of ground to cover and it can't be done in one entry. Instead? A series of posts. The first arc of posts (maybe three?) will cover Amelia's abduction. After that, the siege. I'll try and keep each post reasonably short, no more than two or three pages. They will of course be image-lite, but hey, we're a niche blog and this post has been written for a small niche within that niche. So, Mr Anonymous, and anyone else who fancies a snippet of Olde Worlde fiction,...

Hi Guys, All of my recent hobby has been totally absorbed by my new found enjoyment of Bolt Action. If you keep up with Jeff over at Pirate Viking Painting  (and if you don't, you should!) you will have noticed an alarming number of Soviet tanks cropping up. To counter this buildup of Bolshevik armour, I've been getting busy with assembling a German tank force for the glory of the Fatherland. This is a picture heavy post... but who doesn't like lots of pictures. First, the imaginatively named SDKFZ 251/1 Ausf D. Also called the Hanomag after one of the factories that supplied these armour carriers. Used by all branches of the German military in all theatres. In this case these will be protectively ferrying my Panzer Grenadiers into combat. I've got two of these beauties running around. Next we have the SDKFZ 234/2 'PUMA'. This a wheeled scout vehicle that was attached to Panzer Divisions as a recon vehicle for Panzer battalions and for anti-tan...

Hi everybody! (Hi Doctor Jeff...) I have been remiss lately, it's true. My posts here have been few and far between. Truth be told, so was my personal hobby over the Christmas period. But not any more baby! I recently managed to fridge* out the last 70 goblins that were standing in the way of my original 3000 point list. Glory be, the basics are done. To celebrate this, I thought I'd have a bit of a photoshoot: *fridge(n): a beard bunker idiom for anything difficult done with great mindlessness and purpose. Just to get. It. Done. Like carrying a fridge up stairs. No I don't remember why... Now that is a heck of a lot of goblin. 220 of them to be precise and a bunch of spiders and monsters along for the ride. Now photographing this many gobbos is a real pain in the bum (more on that later) so I thought after the initial "impact" shot I'd break down the tribes. The Bitter Moons first: The Bitter Moons (named for an oriental LARP teahouse belonging ...

Ways to maintain a high output of painted models no. 314: don’t buy a pimp-ass PC. Now, as you might be able to tell by the way the Beard Bunker produced half as many posts in 2014 as it did in 2012, I bought a pimp-ass PC. Woo spaceships woo. Now I’ve done very, very well at STARTING projects... just not so well with the finishing part. A few spearmen here, a few greatswords there. One thing that I have done, though, is to paint a new member of the Silver Drakes. Why have I done so? Because Erhard von Rüdiger is dead. If anyone who’s been following our campaign is remotely interested in the how and the why, leave a message in the comments section and I’ll go into it. Mostly, though, I figure the campaign story is only interesting to the people who are playing it. Now Mr von Rüdiger used to ride with the Inner Circle of the Silver Drakes, so his departure left a hole in the unit that needed filling. I’ve since filled it with a character who might one day become a hero but ...

It’s both interesting and exciting to see Games Workshop (or G-Dubz, if you’re keeping it real) venturing into new territory with their series Warhammer: The End Times , but this leaves the Beard Bunker’s Hochland campaign setting in a weird place. For anyone unfamiliar with the Warhammer setting, the last big event in its chronology was the Storm of Chaos, and we decided to set our own story immediately after it. The most recent edition of Warhammer dialled the clocks back to the years just before this event, but they never officially retconned it. That changed with the release of Warhammer: the End Times. Nagash and his top had get right up in someone's shi. Our little cul-de-sac of the Old World is now not only beyond Warhammer’s timeline, but mutually exclusive with it. For some reason, this made me feel weird. Apparently I have some deep-seated nerd phobia of doing anything that contradicts the official canon. This is pretty dumb, since said canon has been ...

Almost a year ago, I wrote issue 1 of the Hochland Gazette. Mainly because I fancied a bit of a giggle. I've now written issue 2 in the wake of a particularly stupid battle between Maisey and I. You see, I accidentally won a 3,500-point game after a regiment of flagellants failed their frenzy check. Yes, really. If you want the 'authentic' medieval paper-reading experience, feel free to do so by clicking on the image above. If you're less of a masochist and/or gothic font fetishist, here is the legible version: THE HOCHLAND GAZETTE Published by Ernst Drucker & Sons of Tussenhof on 20 th Vorhexen 2255 I.C. Containing the surest news and firmest advice every Angestag & Aubentag [ Price: 4 shillings ] Fanatical cult slay zombie dragon! Gruyden village safe; Hochland’s army “on top form,” says Ludenhof.  The village of Gruyden, famed for having shrine to all the gods (old and new), has once again come under attack by the restless dead...

As much as I’m not that keen on the current edition of 40K, our recent foray into Inquisitor means that my enthusiasm for the 40K mythos has crept back in, like a nervous and recently-evicted lover, scared that they’re only going to be inside the nice warm house for minutes rather than years. Part of this enthusiasm is contingent upon not being subjected to endless numbers of Spehs Mahreens. As such, I found myself contemplating the Imperial Guard (or Astra Vauxhaulius, depending on which bit of the Imperium you're from). Those of you with an elephant's memory may remember the test model . Finally, I’ve had a go at some more. Now, everyone who’s ever tried to make a Guard army will remember the slog. You need a lot of little plastic dudes. As usual, one must strike a balance between speed and quality... the speed in this case being less than two hours to paint a tank. The tracks were weathered with a light brown drybrush followed by Typhus Corrosion, because...