The Beard Bunker

Back in September 2020 I made an automated Google Sheet to help track progress in Warhammer 40,000's Crusade mode. Now that 10th edition is here, changes to Crusade have come with it. I've implemented those changes on the roster, and edited the original post accordingly. The main change, facilitated by 10th's wonderfully trimmed spread of stratagems and detachment rules, is that this new version of the roster can serve as a repository of all  your army's rules, from the faction right down to the individual units. Obviously it takes time to do the initial setup, but once that's done, you just have to amend things as and when GW issue updates. Click here , or the image below, to check out the updated post, and indeed the updated roster. If that's your sort of thing, of course.

"Oh, dat is da Weirdboy. Weez call 'im Waxing Gibbous. 'cuz 'eez a few moons short of a planet. Yooz iz best off leavn' 'im well alone. Only da Wildboyz 'ang around wit 'im. Dey ain't all there either. Da 'hole lotta dem are off in da woods, on da 'shrooms, howling at da moon." - Doc Basha on Waxing Gibbous I really do enjoy the Weirdboy, as a concept, and because of the sheer exuberance of the models available. This one is from the AoS range and is simply my favourite of the lot. It is a wonderful sculpt, from the concept, to the pose, and to the details. An absolutely great model. I had contemplated just painting this model for the joy of it but once I had started an Ork project I knew this was going to be my Weirdboy. I'm not sure how we arrived at the name Waxing Gibbous, it was one of those conversations that bounce around a bit, but I think it is a great fit for this delightfully mad model. Painting was easier than it might ...

  The Holy Book Games Workshop released Inquisitor in 2001 and it blew my nerdy teenage mind.  I engaged with it like I never had any game before, and it has fundamentally defined me as a hobbyist going forwards.  Everything I do in the hobby now is rooted in Inquisitor.  But as games go it was, objectively, quite bad. The Scale Titans? They're just like anything else. The bigger they are, the harder they fall. 54mm be real big, yo. The thing that most obviously makes Inquisitor stand out amongst GW’s games is the scale.  Uniquely the models were in 54mm, pretty much double the scale of most other games.  GW has gone smaller plenty of times, with Epic, Man’O’War, Battlefleet Gothic and more recently Aeronautica Imperialis, but this is the only game where they went bigger instead. This of course meant we had no suitable scenery to play on.  We improvised as best we could, and built a few bits of scenery that could work in 28mm and 54mm, but mostly I rem...

Birds of prey have complicated plumage, and that's why I've had an unpainted griffon in my cabinet for more years than I care to remember. At last, I found a solution: take it on a family holiday to Wales, where it's the only miniature I own for hundreds of miles. My family may have been politely baffled, but it got the job done. Crucially, I made the decision early on to just relax about the painting standard. To get each feather painted to a high standard would break the average human brain, which is why even the 'Eavy Metal team never bother to paint realistic markings, and why as their griffons always look subtly wrong to me. I decided I'd rather have looser, sloppier brush work in exchange for real markings. Choosing the right plumage The official Empire Griffon kit is very clearly an eagle, but my griffon is a hand-me-down from Maisey, a remnant of his abortive Wissenland project. This griffon is from 8th edition's  Island of Blood starter set, and it'...

"So, you wanna know about dat Boss do you, runts? Well, grab me a grog, shuddap, and listen.  Uluruk Nurdkrumpa iz kunnin' but brutal. Da Boss 'az always kept 'iz eyez and earz open. Boss don't talk much but 'ez always watching for the right moment to krump anyone who getz in 'iz way of being da Boss. Make 'im boring at da squig roasts, not one for jokes or anyfink like dat, but 'ez keeps da boyz in line and finds some good scraps. So 'ez alright by me.  Da Boss knows which of da boyz dat he can trust. Beh Moff is da most trustworthy of 'iz Nobz. Mostly because Beh Moff ain't got much going on in dat hed of 'iz. A long as 'ez gots grog and lotz of good fights 'ez an 'appy boy. Beh Moff iz pretty good at doing wot da boss tells 'im and dat is mostly to go smash stuff. Beh Moff don't care wot it iz, just as long as it krumps good. Oh, and don't mess wiv 'da Boss' squig, Gobbit. Boss loves dat squig. No i...

It's Christmas 2021, and my sister has broken the unspoken lifelong family reluctance to buy me plastic crack for Christmas as I draw ever closer to being... [checks notes] middle aged.  Why have a partridge in a f---ing pear tree when you could have a Primaris Techmarine? I felt it would be important to paint it up quickly to indicate my enthusiasm and gratitude, and that's why, a mere 18 months later, I have painted Brother-Techmarine Sedayus Aristander. I don't normally show off my newly painted toy soldiers to the family, as it's really not their sort of thing (although were I painting WW2 historics my Dad would perk right up). But in this instance, it seemed only fitting to thank my sister and show her what I'd done with her present. "Wow. He looks um… charming," she said. "I appreciate the level of detail. Your ability to concentrate on one tiny thing for so long is impressive." Like I say, it's really not their sort of thing. Now if y...

“Doc Basha finking log, waaargh date… err.. lots. Da boss Uluruk and 'is bestest beastboss, Bozzgak, are getting fed up. Not wiv da bloaty squig belly, which is my die-ig-nose-sis of eating too many squigs. Dey fink dat there is too many Pansies, Beakies, Tinboyz, and, Mork forbid, Bloodaxes around 'ere. Dey reckon itz about time sum proper Orks showed ya how itz dun. Well, I fink I spotted some Goffs , dey r almost proper Orks, if dey wasn’t so boring. Dey just bang on about dat metal stuff. Not enough spinny hed squigs being chucked around amungst dat lot. Dey should get back to da proper ways. Right, dis finky log is getting boring. Where is Nurse Skrachit got to, stoopid runt, it’s surgurree time. One of Deez beastsnagga boyz needz a new leg after da numpty lost it to a hog. Just can’t get da boyz deez days.” Right, enough chat from the Doc. Maisey is back! After a long hobby hiatus caused by Real Life shenanigans, I'm finally back on the hobby wagon. What better way t...

Years ago, when I worked in Oxford's Warhammer shop, I would regularly advise people that they really shouldn't feel obligated to paint the whole army to their best possible standard. It takes ages, and a perfectly fine paint job is 100% better than an incomplete high-end paint job you've burned out on. So naturally, years later, I find myself beavering away at the exact thing I told people not to do, and never has this been more masochistic than when painting heavy intercessors. I did, however, like the idea of having some basic troops in heavier gear for boarding actions and similarly claustrophobic encounters. Thus: no choice but to knuckle down for a month. Side note: this sort of slow pace is simply dreadful for regular blog content. a month's worth of highlighting Now the quickest way to speed things up is to weather the bejesus out of their MANY-EDGED DISCO BOOTIES to conceal a lack of highlighting. Naturally, I went into autopilot and highlighted them anyway, an...