The Beard Bunker

I was discussing with Charlie what my next post should be about and I had expressed a wish to do some sort of step by step helpful instructional type post where I impart knowledge from my brain meats to yours. His response was pretty clear. "Maisey," he said, "there is only one thing I can imagine you doing." "Tanks?" I said. "Tanks," he said. So, I like tanks. They are fun to build, fun to paint and they make things go BOOM! Which is always satisfying. I have a few tanks. When I say a few I mean lots. Lots like fish in the sea lots. In my last post I mentioned the urge to do a Chaos/Rebel Guard army. This going to let me have a lot of fun as both armies have the world of opportunity to convert everything, but I'll mostly focus on the tanks. The first tank I'm going to attempt is one from the Guard side of things and is going to be one of my all time favourites: the Demolisher. So Fresh, So Clean... Here is it fresh o...

    Aha! Caught you unawares – these aren’t Orks, tanks, rats or Ork-rat-tank-hybrid-walker-machines! These are in fact a couple of Dreadfleet ships.   I’ve been dabbling my toes in a bit of commission work for a colleague, and this is what he’ll get for buying me grog.   Here are my thoughts on the models, painting and some other general ramblings that have tangential relevance.   The good   Looking back on the old Man’O War ships, I have been astounded by how finely sculpted and well detailed these ships are. The Bloody Reaver in particular is a quite astonishing piece of work and it really looks like a floating collection of junk - which is a positive comment from an Ork player.   The Nocturne (I couldn't fit 'Bloody Reaver' onto the gap on the sail).   The Flaming Scimitar was very easy to put together. I’m quite fond of the opulent Djinn Palace look, but less pleased with the blowing wind sculpt comin...

First up, a mild apology (because I’m only mildly sorry): I’m a bit late with this post. Lately I’ve been aiming for one of us Beard Bunkerettes to get something up every Monday (that way we’ve had the weekend to do hobby stuff, and thus, something to write about the next day). Welp, I’ve been busy finishing the first draft of my novel. Hurrah! ...but this has prevented me doing much in the way of hobby. Boo! So without further ado, I’m going to take a leaf out of Jervis Johnson’s book. He once wrote a Standard Bearer column in which he advocated the joys of thinking carefully about the layout of the scenery on your table so that it makes narrative sense. If you’re not sure what I’m talking about, think back to going into your friendly local gaming store, or gaming club, or wherever. People often game on scenery that’s been randomly but evenly distributed around the board, as if the planet they’re on was created by a god with geographical Tourette’s. Genuinely, I think p...

I've had a massive mid-year attack of the Butterfly Brain ( Jeff Explains BBA ) and haven't actually managed to finish anything worth sharing with you fine people. I've been been like the fussy eater at the wedding buffet of hobby. Picking at a few things here and there. The first couple of units of a Dark Angel army. The dusting off and base coating of a squad of my Imperial Guard army. Several aborted attempts at finding Vampire character models I actually like and fit with the back story. A scenery project of the garden of Moor to go with the Vampire Counts. A third Imperial Guard army that never made it past the concept stage after I really couldn't decide on a camo scheme for them. Then a few weeks ago I added another dollop of potato salad to my already overflowing, yet relatively untouched paper hobby plate. An evil and spiky dollop of potato salad. Captain Slicey Yes, that's right, I've been seduced by the Dark Gods' promises of chives and...

Greetings fellow beardlings, Jeff here. I am aware that I haven't been around the bunker for a little while but moving house does rather knock the personal hobby on the head! As a result I am delighted to present the first models of my brand spanky new Dwarf army! Yup, the first models I paint for this army are a special choice, go figure! Truth is I love Slayers, even back when they really, really sucked. They just embody the fatalistic stubborness of the Dwarf character. For those who are not familiar with Dwarven backstory, a Trollslayer is a Dwarf who has suffered some great personal shame or committed some unforgivable crime or breach of protocol. They sing their death song, dye and shave their hair and beards into tallow stiffened crests and walk into the world. To all extents and purposes their life has ended and their kin mourn as such. They now seek out the largest and most potent monsters to face in battle. They do this to find peace in death. No Dwarf would ...

Last Christmas (I think) Jen enhanced my festiveness by buying me this dude: So dashing. Ohmygod, pretty. He’s one of the Empire duellists . It’s an absolutely beautiful sculpt. I mean seriously . Now technically , you can’t use this guy as an Empire captain, because captains can’t take a brace of pistols, but I loved the idea of a young, smug prettyboy as the obvious counterfoil to my general, Erhard von Rüdiger – a grizzled Templar Grand Master. Moreover, most Empire captains, like Captain Stefan Rainer , who I painted for my Nordlanders, are big, barrel-chested bastards. This guy would be a refreshing change. So, what to do with the rules? Other members of the Beard Bunker probably would’ve been cool with me just paying more points for the extra pistol, but I thought, screw it, why not go one step further? There was just one fly in the ointment. Apparently, Oskar wears tights: So pert. Ok, it’s not that I’d feel self-conscious spending...

Mark, Maisey and I have been getting to grips with the 6 th edition of Warhammer 40,000 lately by playing small games of 750-1000 points. I feel like I’ve still got a lot to learn. Generally speaking, though, I’m really enjoying the new rules (which I started to read after I stopped dribbling all over the paintings of Holy Terra and the Space Marine Monastery, which NEED to be released as posters). The last such game was between Mark’s Deathskulls and my Evil Sunz , and was a variation on The Relic (Mission 6, p.131). Rather than having a small relic that could be picked up, we took the mission as inspiration for a scenario in which my warboss (Grimtoof Boomshanka) had left his beloved Boss Bus in the mek’s garage so it could be, er, rebuilt after that git Tycho punched the snot out of it (thanks for that post- Nerd Thunder 3 revenge pasting, Jeff). What with Mark’s mek Tekkwotts being a filthy, swindling Deathskull, he turned up with a bunch of his mates to nick it whils...

All due credit and respect for the background stock goes to Humblebeez . Many years ago, as a spotty teenage gamer, I felt blessed to be able to play games on my parents’ ping pong table in the garage. Ping pong was fun, but what was even more fun was fighting my friend Ali’s Orks for dominance over a battlefield of empty food tins, stacks of CDs, and rubbish bunkers made out of the polystyrene packing in which Citadel Miniatures used to come. I didn’t even paint the polystyrene; I just stuck cocktail sticks into it because I thought that sharp wooden sticks would look EXACTLY like the exposed bars in broken reinforced concrete. Particularly when they weren’t painted. Man, I could’ve entered that bunker into Golden Damon, which is like Golden Daemon, but for people who can’t be bothered to paint . * I used to look in the pages of White Dwarf and practically dribble over the GW studio's scenery. The very concept of having a decent board, never mind stuff to go on it, ...